death is on it's own clock...

Γεμάτο δάκρυα στάζει το πέλαγος. Μοιάζει το μέλλον να είναι απροσπέλαστο, σε ένα παρόν που στενάζει καί κλαίε...

one of those days...

You can...

survive without intimacy but you will never thrive without it. 

What's really life about? It's about sharing ourselves with the people we choose to have close to us. By sharing ourselves, our thoughts, we get a clear understanding of who we are, where we are at. We yearn for intimacy, but we avoid it. We want it badly, but we run from it. We sense the profound need for it, but we are terrified of it... In order to be intimate with another human being we need to let that high wall of ours down. Once our shield is off, we feel vulnerable. That's when the walls become higher and most people chose the easy way out, to run away. Well, no one's perfect we are all broken, imperfect have flaws, the things we so often despise about ourselves are the beautiful part of our humanity, what makes us special, us...

“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” 
― Maya Angelou

lost complete touch...

with my inspiration core. Every time I opened Final Draft this week  I closed it, simply lost interest in the story. Someone that inspired me had no idea how to deal with me. I was bumped...Went from flying up in the sky to crashing underground...everything that goes up must come down...but everything that goes underground wakes up higher... people walk into our lives daily but some people, really walk in, they walk in and they make everything stop...had no idea what hit me and where the hell did it come from...I am not talking about SEX, sorry...I am talking about life and how it works... I went to him for answers to come to find that I had the answers all along...I walked in feeling I had nothing to teach..I was put on the hot seat, and what appeared to be all about me was all about him, because it's never about what is said, it's all about what's underneath, the layers that you feel and when I'm feeling I don't ask questions, no need. I am sure I missed a thing or two he said but I did not miss a beat on all those shifts. I have never seen anything as clear as this one, and he thinks I missed the whole thing...overanalyzed, missed the obvious and did not ask the most important question, "what do you see?"...the why, made me loose quite some sleep. Why did he cross my path? Why now?...woke up this morning as if I just came out of hibernation...crystal clear and what do I see, I see where I am at, and I can see even clearer where I am going...where do we go from here? Hm...

someone special...

to me, told me last week that I don't receive compliments very well. True, fact, I don't. Compliments are a part of my daily routine, should have been comfortable in receiving one by now but I still brush half of them off, pretend I didn't hear and so on...But, on the other hand, I give compliments generously. His point was that I am not giving to myself...point well taken. I am a better giver than receiver, I have been going through life giving and when it comes to receiving, well, it makes me feel uncomfortable...so, after I gave it some thought...I started a little experiment, every time someone gave me a compliment, I smiled, said thank you and actually thought of their compliment. In plain english I have been wearing a smile on my face since Friday.