Friday, December 16, 2011

A true apology...

does not require forgive and forget. We apologize when we realize, we have hurt someone. It's an acknowledgment. We do it for ourselves and of course for the other person...ourselves, it's for ourselves. We let the other person know we are sorry, we let them take their time and process what went down. We tell them our side, what was going through our head, we share our reality...we give them the upper hand, we let them decide if they still want to grow with us. Great, if they are willing to put it behind them, but some people don't. The moment you get all pissy and try to turn it around  on them, is the moment your apology will go down the garbage bin...
Personally, I can forgive but forgetting...let's say my memory is still rocking...and of course it all depends on what went down, my part in it, how much I was hurt, if it was an honest mistake or it was intentional...
People walk in and out of our lives, it is what it is...this is the town for it. We learn, we grow and we move on.  I don't hold grudges, I wish everyone well. It will break my heart seeing someone suffering, even if they have hurt me. But I do move on, and the people that intentionally harmed me, the people that envy me, love to watch me suffer, or used me are not going to be a part of my journey...even if they have apologized, if they did it once they will do it again. This is who they are, this is how they are programed...people grow but they do not change. Actually let's rephrase it, it takes a very strong person to look inside and change and most don't...
I always say I am not perfect and I love that because it allows me to grow, it makes me human...I am aware I can be very strong at times, harsh, abrupt. But I have never given an advice that was not accurate that did not help someone see, grow, even a complete stranger...and I am aware that I have very little tolerance with people who don't think, who don't say thank you, and who let their ego control their lives.
 I am very thankful today, for the amazing people I do have in my life, who help me be a better person, who have grown with me...true friends are hard to find and the ins and outs help us appreciate them even more...